Sunday, August 20, 2006

The Iowa State Fair

Andrea and I spent the day at the Iowa State Fair with Chad and Lindsay, and it was definitely one of the best/most interesting times I've ever had at the fair.

One reason, came as we were leaving the fair and decided to walk through the petting zoo. We came upon the miniature donkey exhibit and there were two male donkeys, who appeared to be playing. Upon further inspection, it became obvious that we stumbled upon some sort of barely legal, somewhat homosexual, and incredibly interesting donkey incest game.

The older male donkey was biting the younger donkey on the back and legs, in an attempt to mount him. The younger donkey kept running around the ring playing the best defense he could, and after a few minutes of dodging big brother, he would stop and do a pretty nasty donkey kick in an effort to get the older one off his back. He kicked hard too. Like, hard enough to probably knock out a full grown man. Problem is, he kept missing his target. So, the biting kept going on and on, and the kicking would soon follow. Chad and I watched like 2 kids watching a cartoon. And to make the situation a little weirder, there was a pot bellied pig in the same kennel. He had to be pretty pi$$ed about having those two jackasses for roommates.

The other reason this fair rocked was for the simple fact that I came back with more money in my wallet then what I left with. Chad informed me of this booth that was sponsored by a Credit Union, and they did "Fear Factor" type stunts for cash. All you had to do was sign a waiver and be prepared to eat something or get something dumped on you....

We got there and got our waivers signed as a pretty big crowd was forming. They started out by just throwing out t-shirts and $1 bills and a couple other trinkets to the crowd. Then they paid some guy $5 to put lipstick on him, then gave him $10 if he ate the lipstick. He did... he even chewed it. Next up was paying someong $5 to drink glass of lemon juice. Then he asked the golden question "Who's hungry?" My arm shot up in the air like I was trying to dislocate my shoulder. The guy saw me... pointed at me... then continued to scan the crowd... then he came back to me and said "You... come up here?". Asked me my name and asked if I was allergic to shellfish or any other types of food.

He said he was going to pay me $20 / glass to drink stuff that may not taste that good. He said they would be about 2 oz each, the equivalent of 2 shot glasses. I agreed.

First off... liquid smoke. It went down pretty easy, but the aftertaste was horrible. $20 in my pocket nonetheless.

Next... raw oysters in some sort of thick oily liquid. Down the hatch they went, and they were actually pretty tasty. I didn't mind those at all. $20 in my pocket.

Next... habanero sauce. Thick and hot, but not too bad. $20 in my pocket.

Next... a double shot of lemon juice. FOr some reason, this one was terrible. I'm not really sure why, because when you think about it, it should be the easiest. $20 in my pocket.

When I thought I was done, he said that he'd give me another $20 to eat a spoonfull of Wasabe. I agreed. Licked it off the spoon, and when that stuff hit my throat, I thought I was gonna die. That stuff made my eyes water, and turned my stomach into a gurgling volcano.

Total of $100 in my pocket made it a little easier though.

Now, take all that stuff, and add it to 2 beers, a footlong corndog, chocolate chip cookies, and a glass of milk, and you got yourself a recipe for disaster. Which is brewing in my stomach right now as I type this.

I'm pretty sure around midnight tonight I'm gonna be feeling that habanero sauce again, only this time I'll be burning south of the border.

Other people got $100 to have catfish stinkbait rubbed in their hair, an iPod to a gril who let them paint her blue with housepaint, an X-box to a guy that dresssed up in pink clothes, and then let them cut his hair anyway they liked him, $100 to a girl who let the guys cover her in peanut butter and jelly. All of that was pretty funny because they rubbed so much of the stuff in their hair, which has got to be impossible to get out.

You can see pictures of the stuff here ->
Someone was taking pictures of me as I was drinking those shots, so I might eventually be in one of the galleries.

A very memorable day at the fair with great company really completed this weekend for me.

Oh, and just in case you didn't notice... my use of the word jackasses above, in my opinion, was very well played.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Day 90

I haven't been able to give photo updates lately because the house has been locked up everytime I go over to check it out. I know they're doing stuff, because I see new boxes showing up in the dumpster outside the house.

We have the final walk through this Wednesday, which means everything should be done, with the exception of the sod. The builder told me the sod would go in the day before we close, or the day of closing, weather permitting.

I will be able to give you an update of the deck, when its done, but other then that. Probably nothing until Wednesday. One major thing they did last week was putting in the gutters and downspouts. I completely forgot about that needing to happen. But it did, and it wasn't very exciting.

Until Hump Day..... Adios.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Day 85

Our first kitchen appliance has been installed:

We have black Maytag appliances (stove, dishwasher and microwave), and a Stainless Steel refrigerator with black handles that should tie in nicely.

The carpet was put in today too:

The Great Room, 3 bedrooms, stairs, and landing area all got carpetted. The carpet we picked out is called frazee and it's the best carpet under the sun. It's very soft, and feels like you could lay down on it and go to sleep. We also got an upgraded pad underneath that makes walking/laying on this stuff as close to heaven as you can get without actually dying.

Deck, sod, garage door openers, floor vents, touch up paint, and a couple of outlets in the kitchen are the only things that are left to do, and we'll be able to party like I'm turning 30. Which I am, in a few short weeks.

I gotta tell ya, I'm really looking forward to turning 30, and I'm not really sure why. Maybe because I still feel like I'm 14. I'm not sure if I still act like it, but judging from what my wife tells me, I don't think I'm that far off from acne, mopeds and feathered hair.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Day 83

When the carpet shows up, you know you're getting close to the end.

They're also working on the last section of finish carpentry. They're running the quarter round trim, and it looks like they're about 60% done. They have all the main rooms done, with just the 3 bedrooms remaining.

It's funny that I'm getting requests to tell the story that I promised last week. Some through email, some by phone, and some through the comments section here. So, as promised, here's how I became hero, for a day.

Midnight on Wednesday, August 2nd.... both of us are sleeping soundly in our bed. Rambo runs downstairs and starts barking at something. It's nothing new, because if he hears a peep outside, he feels the need to bark at it. Lot's of times people will be walking by, or neighbors will be leaving late at night, and without hesitation, Rambo, and sometimes Zella will bark at them.

I actually like this little K9 built in feature that comes standard with all Labs because it turns away "would be" burglars pretty quickly.

After the 10 seconds of barking was over, I was drifting back into a gracefull slumber, when I heard Andrea say "Rich... I heard some voices downstairs". If I had the energy, I would have given a little giggle, but I was tired, so I chose to exercise my selective hearing, and attempt to drift away. Then, I get an arm shake... "Rich, there's someone downstairs... I'm not kidding".

Pulse increases.... adrenoline starts to flow... and things just went from funny to serious in about 0.000000006 seconds.... and I instantly go into protection mode.

I grab my little friend, who I like to call my "Magnum Research Polymer Baby Eagle 9mm semi-auto, cocked and locked with a clip full of Spear Gold Dot hollow points", and I head downstairs slowly.

I peaked around corners, I checked behind doors, I looked outside every window in the house to try and get a glimpse of the mysterious voices from below. I came up empty, and I was disappointed. I was disappointed in the fact that I wouldn't get to fight a burglar in my Hanes boxer briefs. Because I have a pretty good feeling that would be a great story to pass down to my kids someday.

"Daddy beat up a burglar in his underwear" just seems to roll off the tongue.

I'm pretty sure the noise the dogs hears heard was from a car parked in front of our house. The car's dome light was still on, which leads me to believe that someone had just recently gotten out of the car and gone into a neigbors house, and caused the dogs to bark.

So, there you have it. I succesfully chased away the boogie man, and was a hero for a day.

Albeit, a slightly sunburned, underwear only wearing hero with a loaded gun... but a hero nonetheless.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Day 79

Chad, being the good American that he is, has graciously offered up his truck, and his services today, for the sake of picking up our new couches. They will be stored in our garage until we move, which is fine, because we got a killer deal on them and I'm willing to have my truck sit outside for the sake of saving money.

I didn't say I wouldn't cry everytime I see my truck sitting outside, I just said I'm "willing" to have it sit outside.

I have to get those couches moved, change clothes, and clean my bike up, to be at bike night by 7:00.

I have a good story to share, but I don't have time to write it up today.
Let's just say that I was a true hero in the Kneifl hacienda, and successfully chased away the boogie man last night. ;-)

Full story to come tomorrow.

Onto the house. Driveway and part of the sidewalk got poured today:

We also got a new front door, but you can't really see it in the picture. It has the handset also, which means our house is locked up now.

But Rich, how did you get in?

I did... and let's leave it at that. OK? OK.

Interior doors are in, sans doorknobs:

Look at those doors! Look at em I tell ya.....


They're awesome.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Day 78

A little bit of action at the house today. For some reason all of the lights were on. I think its for the inspection, because there was an inspection sheet taped to the back door.

Looks like our driveway and sidewalk are about to get poured.

In other news, we have Morning Dove #2 making a home in our hanging flower pot outside the front door. The first one sat on her egg non-stop for 4 weeks. When it hatched they hung out in our bushes for a couple of weeks before they took off to fend for themselves. This dove seems to lack the dedication of Dove #1. In my recently acquired bird knowledge opinion, Dove #2 doesn't put in the time that's required to hatch an egg and she seems to be off on her own in the evening hours. I wonder if she's a "lady of the night"?

One thing is for sure. That nest is probably about the nicest piece of real estate that a bird can get. It looks like a big nest, its comfortable, and it's sheltered from the elements.

When this new egg hatches, I think mother nature and I will be even after I ran over all those baby bunnies with the lawn mower a couple weeks ago.

*two thumbs up*